The Real Romney

The purpose of the Republican convention is to introduce America to the real Mitt Romney. Fortunately, I have spent hours researching this subject. I can provide you with the definitive biography and a unique look into the Byronic soul of the Republican nominee:

Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired.

The Romneys had a special family tradition. The most cherished member got to spend road trips on the roof of the car. Mitt spent many happy hours up there, applying face lotion to combat windburn.

The teenage years were more turbulent. He was sent to a private school, where he was saddened to find there are people in America who summer where they winter. He developed a lifelong concern for the second homeless, and organized bake sales with proceeds going to the moderately rich.

Some people say he retreated into himself during these years. He had a pet rock, which ran away from home because it was starved of affection. He bought a mood ring, but it remained permanently transparent. His ability to turn wine into water detracted from his popularity at parties.

There was, frankly, a period of wandering. After hearing Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side,” Romney decided to leave Mormonism and become Amish. He left the Amish faith because of its ban on hair product, and bounced around before settling back in college. There, he majored in music, rendering Mozart’s entire oeuvre in PowerPoint.

His love affair with Ann Davies, the most impressive part of his life, restored his equilibrium. Always respectful, Mitt and Ann decided to elope with their parents. They went on a trip to Israel, where they tried and failed to introduce the concept of reticence. Romney also went on a mission to France. He spent two years knocking on doors, failing to win a single convert. This was a feat he would replicate during his 2008 presidential bid.

After his mission, he attended Harvard, studying business, law, classics and philosophy, though intellectually his first love was always tax avoidance. After Harvard, he took his jawline to Bain Consulting, a firm with very smart people with excessive personal hygiene. While at Bain, he helped rescue many outstanding companies, like Pan Am, Eastern Airlines, Atari and DeLorean.

Romney was extremely detail oriented in his business life. He once canceled a corporate retreat at which Abba had been hired to play, saying he found the band’s music “too angry.”

Romney is also a passionately devoted family man. After streamlining his wife’s pregnancies down to six months each, Mitt helped Ann raise five perfect sons — Bip, Chip, Rip, Skip and Dip — who married identically tanned wives. Some have said that Romney’s lifestyle is overly privileged, pointing to the fact that he has an elevator for his cars in the garage of his San Diego home. This is not entirely fair. Romney owns many homes without garage elevators and the cars have to take the stairs.

After a successful stint at Bain, Romney was lured away to run the Winter Olympics, the second most Caucasian institution on earth, after the G.O.P. He then decided to run for governor of Massachusetts. His campaign slogan, “Vote Romney: More Impressive Than You’ll Ever Be,” was not a hit, but Romney won the race anyway on an environmental platform, promising to make the state safe for steeplechase.

by David Brooks

After his governorship, Romney suffered through a midlife crisis, during 

which he became a social conservative. This prepared the way for his presidential run. He barely won the 2012 Republican primaries after a grueling nine-month campaign, running unopposed. At the convention, where his Secret Service nickname is Mannequin, Romney will talk about his real-life record: successful business leader, superb family man, effective governor, devoted community leader and prudent decision-maker. If elected, he promises to bring all Americans together and make them feel inferior. 

Gabrielle Douglas

Tormented by fellow gymnasts in Virginia Beach, VA, because she was Black

Gabby Douglas overcame several challenges to win two Olympic gold medals — none more daunting than cold shoulders and slurs from some racist fellow gymnasts.

On her way to London and triumph as the first African-American gymnast to win individual all-around Olympic gold, Gabby, 16, nearly gave up her dream because she was tormented at a gym where she trained in Virginia Beach, Va.

 “I was just, you know, kind of getting racist jokes, kind of being isolated from the group. So it was definitely hard. I would come home at night and just cry my eyes out,” she told Oprah Winfrey in a segment on “Oprah’s Next Chapter.”

She recalled a specific example of racism. “One of my teammates was like, ‘Could you scrape the bar?’” she remembered. “And they were like, ‘Why doesn’t Gabby do it, she’s our slave?’”

“I was the only African-American at that gym,” Gabby went on. “I definitely felt isolated. Why am I deserving this? Is it because I’m black? — those thoughts were going through my mind.”

Gabby appeared on Oprah’s show Sunday with her mother, Natalie Hawkins, who recalled how her daughter told her about the cruel treatment on several occasions.

When Gabby was 14, her mother said, she reached her breaking point.

“She said, ‘I’d rather quit — if I can’t move and train and get another coach, I’d rather quit the sport,’” Hawkins said.

Gabby’s mother took that to heart and allowed her to move to Iowa to train with a new coach. And the rest, as they say, was Olympic history.

But even as Gabby also took home Olympic team gold as part of the USA’s “Fierce Five,” she was still made to feel different by Twitter chatter about her hair style — Internet talk begun by African-Americans.


“You know why it sickens me?” Winfrey told Gabby, referring to African-Americans in general.

 “We’re the only ones who would care to notice, because the whole world is looking at your athletic prowess, and there are a few naysayers — haters — who are on talking about your hair.”

Blogger's Note:  Don't worry Gabby.  You can fly.

In Virginia, Another Highway Robbery

Asset forfeiture strikes again. From an editorial in the Washington Post:

VICTOR RAMOS GUZMAN and his brother-in-law noticed a Virginia state trooper pull up beside them as they traveled on Interstate 95 near Emporia, Va., in November. “A police car drove by in parallel, looked at our faces and on no more than that decided to stop us,” Mr. Guzman said in a sworn affidavit.

Virginia State Police say the men were speeding, driving 86 mph in a 70 mph zone and “following too closely.” But the trooper did not issue a ticket that morning despite the allegedly excessive speed nor did he charge the men with any civil or criminal violations. He did, however, seize $28,500 in cash.

In a statement, Virginia State Police say that the “male driver” gave the trooper consent to search the car, but the driver — the brother-in-law — does not speak English. The police also claim the men were acting suspiciously because both “disclaimed ownership of the money” and provided “inconsistent and contradictory statements” about the money.

Misunderstandings cannot be discounted; English is a second language for Mr. Guzman. But there is also a simple explanation: The money wasn’t theirs. Mr. Guzman, an El Salvador native and lawful Northern Virginia resident, says he was transporting money for the church in which he serves as secretary. He told the officer he and his brother-in-law were taking $24,000 of the church’s cash to Atlanta to meet with the owner of a parcel of land in El Salvador, where the church hoped to build. He said $4,000 in his possession was set aside to buy a trailer for church-owned land in North Carolina, and $500 was earmarked to cover the trip’s expenses. A lawyer for the church confirms Mr. Guzman’s account.

After calling Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the trooper ordered the men to drive to a nearby police station, where he seized the cash and gave them a receipt. The money is being held by an arm of the immigration service, which is determining whether it should be returned. Mr. Guzman and the church have asked that the matter be referred to a federal court.

Americans for Forfeiture Reform has more details:

Trooper Murphy checked their papers, legal status, rental information, et cetera. Having found no violations, the trooper also called the FBI and ICE. The FBI declined involvement. The officer confiscated the cash and issued a receipt for it.

Guzman and Sorto were told by Trooper Murphy that the seizure was being executed “on order of ICE” but that no ICE agents were available because they were in a meeting. Guzman asked that they contact the church to verify their account of the currency trooper Murphy declined to do so and, apparently, told them to shut up. They were also told that they would be contacted by ICE Norfolk.

Having not been contacted by ICE or the Virginia State Patrol, the church contacted attorney Claudia Flower on November 4th. Flower contacted the state police and ICE. ICE, at that point, declined involvement. Later that day, Flower was able to talk to CL Murphy.

My first thought here was that the state trooper was trying to get the feds involved in order to take advantage of the “adoption” program. Under adoption, police agencies in states with strong forfeiture laws (that is, laws that protect property owners) can get around state law if they ask a federal police agency to join in the investigation. The federal agency then is technically the agency that seizes the funds, making the investigation subject to more lenient federal forfeiture laws than those of more restrictive state. The feds then give as much as 80 percent of the seized property back to the local police agency.

But it turns out that Virginia has pretty awful civil forfeiture laws—probably worse than federal law, which was improved in 2000. So I don’t know what Cl. Murphy was doing. Perhaps he knew he couldn’t pin anything on these two at the scene, so he would tie them up in an immigration nightmare. But have a look at the factors that Murphy says justify the seizure:

Flower inquired of the probable cause for the seizure and was told . . .

1) The members stated that the cash was not theirs but belonged to the church.

2) The church was located in Baltimore MD, while the address of the individuals was in Virginia.

3) Guzman and Sorto appeared confused.

4) Guzman and Sorto did not know where they were going.

On those factors alone, the state of Virginia can apparently take your cash on suspicion of criminal activity. It’s then up to you to find an attorney who knows how to get it back. They didn’t even go through the charade of prodding a drug dog to alert.

And it gets worse.

[Fowler told Murphy] Guzman and Sorto were driving south bound towards Fayettville, and then to Atlanta, GA as they had told the officer. They knew where they were going and why.

Murphy then stated to Flower, ”People lie to me all the time why do I need to listen to you? The money was seized on behalf of ICE, J.T. Slayton of ICE Norfolk, maybe the chain of command does not know because he has not had time to file a report.”

Murphy then yelled at Flower and hung up.

So many questions. Why would a Virginia state trooper seize $28,000 on behalf of ICE when no ICE agents were ever called to the scene to investigate? Can ICE really just order a property seizure after a traffic stop over the phone, based on nothing more than a state troopers assertion of the four factors above? Does ICE regularly interact with state police agencies in this way?

According to the Post, the “money is being held by an arm of the immigration service, which is determining whether it should be returned.” Think about that for a moment. The government pulled these guys over for driving 12 mph over the speed limit, took $28,000 in cash from them because they appeared confused and lived in a different (bordering) state than their church, and has now held that money for two months while it investigates whether the money was linked to a criminal enterprise (or, if you’re cynical, looks for a way to link it to a criminal enterprise)—and whether or not it will do Guzman, Sorto, and their church the favor of returning it.

As the Post points out, many immigrants don’t carry credit cards or checkbooks. These two were fortunate enough to have been hooked up with some excellent attorneys, who are handling the case pro bono. You wonder how many aren’t, and how many have had cash seized in small enough amounts that the cost of hiring an attorney to win it back wouldn’t be worth the effort.

BANKERS

aka

THIEVES

 Akin Refuses to Quit

By Patricia Zengerle

WASHINGTON | Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:17pm EDT

(Reuters) - Congressman Todd Akin, under fire for controversial remarks on abortion and rape, insisted on Tuesday he would not leave the Missouri Senate race, despite pressure from fellow Republicans and talk of who might replace him on the November 6 ballot.

Akin - a staunch abortion opponent - vowed to stay in the contest against Democratic Senator Claire McCaskill, indicating he represents a conservative movement that must be heard.

A 5 p.m. local time (6 p.m. EDT) deadline passed with no indication he planned to take his name off the ballot.

Akin was defiant. His campaign posted a new web site on Tuesday seeking donations with a banner "I'm pro-life and I Stand with Todd Akin." It had briefly featured a picture of a fetus and a picture of McCaskill with U.S. President Barack Obama, but the fetus image was later removed.

"We are going to continue in this race for U.S. Senate," Akin told "The Mike Huckabee Show," a radio program hosted by the former Arkansas governor.

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney on Tuesday joined the chorus calling for him to pull out of his race after Akin claimed in a weekend television interview that it was extremely rare for women to get pregnant from "legitimate rape."

"Today, his fellow Missourians urged him to step aside, and I think he should accept their counsel and exit the Senate race," said Romney, who previously condemned Akin's comments.

The outrage over Akin's remarks sent waves of anxiety through the Republican Party a week before it reaches out to independent voters, especially women, at its national convention where it will nominate Romney to run against Obama.

Republicans fear the Akin episode could prevent them from winning in Missouri, lessening their chances of picking up the four seats they need ensure a majority in the 100-member Senate.

McCaskill had trailed Akin by about 10 points but a Public Policy Polling survey on Monday had Akin ahead by 1 point.

WHAT ABOUT JOBS?

To the dismay of many Republicans, Akin's woes have cast a spotlight on a part of the platform party members again endorsed on Tuesday: a call to oppose abortion with no mention of exceptions in cases of rape and incest.

That is not the position of Romney, who has said abortion should be allowed to end pregnancies resulting from rape or incest.

Obama, who supports abortion rights, also strongly denounced Akin's remarks, saying "rape is rape."

Romney's vice presidential running mate, U.S. Representative Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, has expressed a harder line on abortion, saying it should be allowed only to save the life of the mother. The campaign said this week a Romney/Ryan administration would reflect Romney's position.

Ryan, who has co-sponsored anti-abortion legislation with Akin, called the Missouri candidate and suggested he think about leaving the Senate contest. "He thought I maybe should give some thought to stepping down, but he didn't tell me what to do. And that's because he's a very respectful and a very decent guy," Akin said on the Sean Hannity radio program.

The controversy is a distraction in a campaign Romney has sought to keep tightly focused on the economy and jobs.

Tim Wildmon, president of the influential American Family Association, was one of several social conservatives who have come to Akin's defense.

"This is a decent, honorable man who has been pro-life and pro-traditional values. He has apologized for his choice of words and that should be the end of it," Wildmon said.

Although religious conservatives are a crucial part of the Republican base, many party leaders say its central message should be its conservative approach to fiscal issues like debt and deficits.

"It's not that we keep shooting ourselves in the foot. We keep shooting ourselves in the eyes," said former Missouri Senator John Danforth, one of a group of current and former U.S. senators from the state who urged Akin to step aside.

WHERE TO FIND A WOMAN SUCCESSOR

Under Missouri election law, Akin had until 5 p.m. local time (6 p.m. EDT) to get his name off the ballot for the November 6 election most easily. But he faces a harder deadline on September 25, the last day his name can be removed with a court order.

If Akin withdraws, the Missouri Republican committee would name a successor to run against McCaskill. Possible candidates include the two Republicans Akin defeated in the primary just two weeks ago - St. Louis businessman John Brunner and former state Senator Sarah Steelman.

But the party can pick any candidate.

Other possibilities include former Senator Jim Talent, who lost narrowly to McCaskill in 2006 and Representative Jo Ann Emerson, considered a favorite because many Republicans think the party would best reassure women voters by running a woman.

In another sign that he is not leaving, US News and World Report reported that Akin spent $150,000 on Tuesday for television advertisements in seven media markets.

But he will struggle to keep up with McCaskill, especially after the Karl Rove-linked American Crossroads Super PAC and the Republican Senate committee said they would hold back millions in funding earmarked for the race.

McCaskill's campaign is using Akin's comments in its fundraising. Emily's List, which supports Democratic women candidates, said it has seen a big jump in fundraising.

Akin apologized again in an Internet advertisement called "Forgiveness." And he sent a fundraising letter to supporters on Tuesday asking for donations of $3 or more.

(Additional reporting by Carey Gillam in Kansas City and David Lawder in Washington; Editing by Alistair Bell and Doina Chiacu)

RAPE MEANS RAPE

Published: August 20 The Washington Post 

LITTLE WONDER that Rep. Todd Akin, the Republican nominee to represent Missouri in the U.S. Senate, is trying to back away from his comments about abortion and rape. So ignorant and offensive were his remarks that members of Mr. Akin’s own party, including its presidential standard-bearer, issued strong condemnations, though it took them a while to get strong enough. Mr. Akin was utterly unconvincing in explaining that he “misspoke.” It is scary that someone so ill-informed could hold elective office or have a chance of becoming a senator.

The comments, first aired Sunday on St. Louis’s KTVI-TV, bear repeating, if only to underscore Mr. Akin’s alarming worldview. Responding to a question about whether he would ease his opposition to abortion to allow exceptions for women who have been raped, the six-term congressman said, “It seems to me, first of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

It’s idiotic, to borrow the phrase of GOP strategist Mike Murphy, to say — citing doctors, no less — that women’s bodies contain some hidden defenses that can kick in to prevent pregnancies. To suggest there are different categories of rape — some real and awful and others that are not — is loathsome. Even from someone who would liken student loans to Stage 3 cancer, as Mr. Akin once did, the comment was stunning in its stupidity and insensitivity.

At first, Mr. Akin issued a statement saying that he “misspoke” and his “off-the-cuff remarks” didn’t “reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year.” The explanation was hard to square with the fact that opposition to abortion has been a core tenet of his time in office — the issue isn’t new to him, in other words — and that he expounded on his thoughts during a lengthy interview with KTVI’s Charles Jaco.

As calls mounted for him to withdraw from the Senate race and the National Republican Senatorial Committee announced it would not spend any money to help elect him, Mr. Akin apologized Monday on former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee’s radio show, calling his remarks “a very, very serious error.” Indeed.

Unfortunately, Mr. Akin’s remarks are not the first, nor are they likely to be the last, in a long-running effort to downplay the horror of rape as a way to restrict access to abortion. Garance Franke-Ruta ofW the Atlantic catalogued how anti-abortion politicians, since at least 1988, have used the canard of “legitimate rape” or “assault rape” in efforts to restrict and outlaw abortions. What they’re really saying is that not all rape victims are victims, and so we shouldn’t worry if they have to deal with unwanted pregnancy.

Earlier this year, every House Republican and 16 Democrats voted for a bill that would have rewritten the rape exception in federal abortion funding bans by inserting the phrase “forcible rape,” words eerily similar to Mr. Akin’s notion of “legitimate rape.” Among the 227 co-sponsors was Rep. Paul Ryan, now Mitt Romney’s running mate. The bill never made it to the Senate floor; let’s hope the same will be said for Mr. Akin and his unacceptable views.

BMW M5

Anyone who's heard a Ferrari V-8 at full wail knows perfectly well that engines make music. But today, that vroom-vroom is getting harder to hear, thanks in equal parts to turbochargers that muffle the noise, increasingly insulated cabins, and government noise regulations.

Automakers are well aware that a snarly engine note enhances the behind-the-wheel experience—especially for sporty cars—and all sorts of devices have been used to let in this "good" noise. The Chevrolet Corvette's exhaust system has a valve that opens under full throttle and bypasses the muffler. The Porsche Cayman and the Ford Mustang both have "noise pipes" that connect the intake system to the cabin. These passive systems, however, are slowly being replaced with active systems that play a prerecorded track through speakers.

Case in point: Volkwagen's GTI used to have a noise pipe, but when the latest version appeared in 2011, the pipe was replaced with the Soundaktor. This system uses a hockey-puck-size speaker mounted on the firewall to generate extra noise. VW didn't exactly advertise the feature, and when word got out, the forums lit up.

"The Soundaktor is only there to lie to me," fumed one GTI owner on vwvortex.com when he found out his car has the system. "It's false advertising, plain and simple."

Andrew Wong is a 29-year-old engineer from Detroit. When he learned that his 2011 GTI had the Soundaktor, he simply removed it. Now he relies on an aftermarket exhaust system for better noise. "I want to hear the engine, rather than some version of the engine being played to me," he says.

VW is not alone. The new BMW M5, which ditched the sonorous V-10 for a twin-turbo V-8, plays an engine soundtrack through the car's audio system. From a carmaker's perspective, these active sound generators have definite benefits over a sound pipe: There's no need to cut a hole in the firewall or package a separate tube in the already crowded engine bay. Plus, the active devices allow a far greater degree of tunability and can be used to mask unwanted noise.

It remains to be seen just how far automakers will take these systems, but in the future, you may be able to toggle a switch that makes your Prius howl like it's got a V-8.